Useless advice . . .

Do not watch Ingmar Bergman films before going to bed. You'll dream in black and white; everyone will speak to you in Swedish; you'll be freezing and wearing a long coat, even though it is summer; conversations will end in long stares and views of dead trees against cloudy skies; Max Von Sydow will want to play chess with you.Went to a pub tonight for a drink and something to eat. About five people turned to me(was eating at the bar) and chatted while waiting for their drinks.. One guy was very gay - I tried to be cool, but I'm sure I gave off this "Boy are YOU gay" body language - it's tough not to. I understand and accept homosexuality as a natural part of life, but when I talk to gay men, it's difficult not to visualize them doing THINGS and I just have to fight the urge to . . . laugh. It's not offensive to me or anything - it just makes me laugh. Now women are different - if they are gay and not butch, I can visualize them doing THINGS and have to fight the urge to . . . ask them to make a video. Why is that? I find most straight men are like that. They rarely get the giggles about two women going at it. Found out last spring a friend's daughter back east announced she is a lesbian - actually bi - and the parents are a bit traumatized. I know it's gotta be tough for the girl - no matter how accepting our society says it is - and the parents, but it can't be helped. They kept hoping it was just "experimental" behavior, but now they know that's just who she is. Finding someone to really love is tough enough, so if she is happy, she's luckier than most. Another person at the bar, a woman, was with this guy who looked like the hunchbacked dude in "Rocky Horror". She kept looking over at me and smiling with these "I wish I were somewhere else" looks while he gnawed at a plate of bangers and mash. At first I thought I had tartar sauce on my nose, but then I realized she was just not into her sideshow date. I'm sure guys must think the same thing when they see me with an attractive woman - which is rare.I'm sure I'm too fussy (besides being too fat and bald) to get back into dating. A woman with some wit, common sense, a healthy curiosity and a lust for life seems to be a tall order. I'd also hope she'd be modestly cute, didn't have kids, a psycho ex and weighed less than me, but I guess I'm dreaming now that I'm pushing 40. I don't try very hard either. Okay - no more Bergman, Kurosawa or black and white foreign films before bed for at least a week. Rossini is biting my leg - he must want food. What a life.